my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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