I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
