Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
