we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
