The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
