When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Randomize