I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
