He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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