she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
meet me or not, i'm out of control
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
