I think my fart just growled at me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
