Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
