Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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