Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
