C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
