I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
