I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
