well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
