Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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