Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need moral support for this bender
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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