yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
