Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
