Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
