That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
