why didn't you poke me back
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
