....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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