You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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