Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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