my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!