with your own penis?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?