I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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