So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
