you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
