I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
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I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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