garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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