Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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