Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
