it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
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You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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