and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
