3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
