It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
