she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
