There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
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Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
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They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I deserve this hangover.
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