I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
