Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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