All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
