The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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