I wanna passion pit in your ass
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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