Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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