I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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