so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
