what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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