he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
