belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
