what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
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I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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