What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
