just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
