JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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