He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
