It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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