my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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