I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sober January is a disaster.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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