im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
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Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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