Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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