she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize