I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
