there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
