I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
