i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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