we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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