Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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